i'm home! :) and still connected

thanks to dial-up, i'm still online! yay! hehehehe...

at least now i can't complain i cannot do any work since i have laptop to bring home. before this i cud always say that i have no pcs to work with coz both the desktop and laptop at home kaputed. hehehe.

am quite enjoying my new toy actually :D coz everyone at home is still kinda busy with work too - dad with tuition, mum also teaching in the tuition center, sis in music school so at least i have something to do while at home. and i get to be productive at the same time (hopefully!)

this yr cny is quieter coz elder sis not coming back, and all my relatives (aunties+cousins) who are away did not come back this yr. so it will be a small family affair. will sure go bum around in fren's houses tho. kekekekeke.

i've got an early ang pow already - from uncle tom who's back in oz - he was back in kch with wifey early jan. hehehe. the perks of not being married. haha.

well, when i've got spare time on my hands u can expect another update from me soon yeah.

Happy Chinese New Year again!!

so little time so much to do

i thot i'd better post before i really have no time and i can't access the internet or sth :P

i'll be heading home on thurs afternoon and i'll be back for 12 days. am coming back to work on 8th feb :)

i've just got a new laptop (company's) and i went down to sg wang + low yat plaza yesterday to get a backpack and thumbdrive. my sis begged me to go buy her a 1/2 cardigan she wanted very badly, so i decided to go since i also wanted to buy the things i needed. really felt so so tired after that - now i really think i'm getting very old!! no stamina even to go shopping. haiyor.

there's another 2 and 1/2 day more of work for me before i'm home! yippee. but i need to get down to work on all the things on my plate right now - esp assignments. praying that i'll get work done at home. hehehe.

alrite then, have a great chinese new year everyone :) and i'll c u all when i come back next ya. if i manage to get online when i'm home, perhaps there'll be an update from me.

signing off - to meow land.

restless restless restless

i'm feeling restless restless restless today!!

it's like there's a lot of things pending and i've not really gotten around to doing most of them and i keep going thru my schedules in my head :P

i'm not looking forward to the CNY hols as much as i did for Christmas coz this time i'll have work + studies hanging over my head. work's not too bad, the main thing i'm worried bout is getting the exam papers done ASAP - otherwise nothing urgent. studies - i haven't even warmed up my engine yet and it's already week 4! help help! i've got 1 major assignment for each subject i'm taking (which makes it 3) altho i might be able to use similar datas for some of the projects but the biggest headache is figuring out WHAT IN THE WORLD DO I WANT TO RESEARCH ON! and i'm supposed to hand in proposals next week!!! arrggghh...

my sister has asked me to go shopping on her behalf but i dun think i'd have the time to go all the way to Sg Wang anytime soon. oh well, we'll c...the only week nite i'm free is on mon (and i'm not so crazy as to go after work all the way downtown on a weekday by myself) and this sat i've got prayer school in the morning then KLTI at 4 so i guess that leaves Sun - IF i'm up to it la.

oh, and bonus is coming in this SAT!! we won't know how much we're getting til Fri afternoon when the Director comes to hand out the letters to the staff. but am hoping it'll be good (keeping fingers crossed!)

i'm just soooooooooooo restless.....what am i going to do?

horror stories abound

it's not something new to us - the horror stories of people dying from trauma suffered because of a robbery / mugging and various other crimes that never seem to end in our land of malaysia. and increasingly, i find myself feeling helpless and resigned to the fact that we'll never be truly safe even in our own homeland.

just last week, a student of mine was beaten up and robbed in broad daylight near KDU. he was with a fren, standing at the bus stop just waiting for a cab when suddenly a car pulled up (apparently a bmw or sth similar) and a few guys got out - pulled him into the car and relieved him of his bag and assaulted him. he lost everything - passport, atm cards, the whole works. he also suffered bruises on his face, body and fractured his arm. the other one got lucky - he managed to run away.

we have a group of exchange students from finland and germany with the college right now - and my colleague who is responsible to "look after" them reminds them time and again to be careful. i do that to my students too - and i have to say, i feel somewhat ashamed that as a malaysian, i have to admit that our country is not very safe. of coz we needn't be overly paranoid but something like that only have to happen once for us to feel really insecure and wary about going on our lives without fear.

almost everyone i know has a tale to share - how they got robbed or molested and taken advantage of in public places + on public transportation - some even has had a few encounters with unfortunate incidents - and it's no wonder we all clutch our bags close to us at all times and feel a stab of fear and suspision whenever a stranger approaches us - so much so that we feel we can't trust anyone anymore.

i myself have been mugged - and the guy pointed a parang at me - altho thankfully i wasn't hurt. he got away with my gold necklace which wasn't worth very much but had sentimental value coz it was a gift from my sis and the pendant from my parents on my 21st birthday. i was out alone to get lunch after the rain had stopped and for some reason did not bring along my wallet + phone (i usually do), and instead only tucked a 5 ringgit note into my pocket. the whole incident did not sink in til that nite when i cudn't go to sleep and actually cried. i made a police report the next day. this was more than 3 years ago.

more recently, i was also flashed at last yr on my way to work - there was a guy standing just a few steps up on the overhead bridge on the LDP which i hv to use to get to work - and he had planned his "attack" carefully. he stood with his back facing me, and pretended to talk on the phone. from my view, he looked decently dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and slacks. but when i started walking up the steps, he turned towards me and i saw "it". my heart pumped furiously, and all i cud think of was "i need to get out of here FAST!" and i bolted. he even had the nerve to stick out his arm to touch me and i shouted at him.

i was obviously shaken by that incident, and after that, i've taken precaution not to walk to work if i can help it and my colleague, om, has been graciously giving me a ride to+from work on most days, except when our schedules clash. i'm thankful nothing unfortunate has happened ever since.

there's been a lot of publicity and uproar when a few people died as a result of muggings and etc, but up til today, i've not seen any improvement and any concrete actions that have been implimented or put in place and i feel as vulnerable as ever. what is it that we need for us to wake up and start being vigilant, and fight for the peace and security of our country? what can we do as normal citizens, apart from praying and being careful at all times?

i long to live a place where we can live in peace, and go on our daily lives freely without the threat of crimes - where we can stroll in the parks with our children and loved ones, take a walk to the nearest mamak or sundry shop and use public transportation with ease of mind. is that too much to ask for?

tops anyone?

last weekend, i bought FOUR tops from F.O.S. *gasp* unintentionally of course :D

i went to the Curve with socks on sat nite for dinner and we ended up shopping in F.O.S. i took the liberty of browsing and picked up about 10 tops to try on. but since the max no. of clothes u can bring into the dressing room is 5, i had to leave the rest with the sales assistant. but when i came out to get the others, it wasn't there coz another gal went and put it back on the racks! i was quite irritated at this, but didn't say much. i went back to the racks and got 4 out of the 5 tops and then tried it on. in the end, i bought a red+black short-sleeved top. even got a discount coz socks had a hsbc card, and it's one of the privileges la.

then on sun, i went to 1u with cat+sharon g. the reason we were there was so cat cud go pick out the socks i'm getting her as a belated xmas gift. the stall is directly in front of F.O.S so inevitably, i ended up going there again. haha. this time i picked 8 tops and even the queue for the dressing rooms didn't deter me. finally i settled on buying 3 - a kimono inspired floral top, a black v-necked sleeveless top and a red mandarin collar tee. and also a black t-shirt for my bro, eric.

now i can't say i dun hv new clothes for cny. keke. diana bought me a red kimono top from bangkok (looks quite different from the one i just bought) too - so now i have 5!

i was telling ev - now i hv to get the bottoms. hehe. i'm still thinking how i'm going to properly match the tops to the bottoms - unless i bring them all with me when i go shopping, which is a bit gila la. i think i'm going to ask diana to go shopping with me :) hopefully, i can find something nice and different from the others i already have.

oklar, enuf of boring posts. over and out.

another holiday

i had a rather full day yesterday. since it was a holiday (hari raya haji) i had planned to go out with leena (my coursemate & colleague) and edison, and pick up something in bangsar village. we had lunch in 1920 - edison bought me lunch coz i passed him my old mobile coz he needed one, and since i'm not using it anymore i figured he'd want to have it.

then i came home bout 3.30, and to my horror found that my keys were missing!! *yikes* thank god sock hui was home, and she let me in. i managed to get leena a few hours later, and to my relief, she said my keys were in her car. phew.

went to swensen's with housemates, but i didn't have anything coz i was supposed to meet jane for tea. she came bout 5pm, and off we went to kanna for a drink. chit-chatted til bout 6.30 then came home again. changed, packed and then tina came to pick me up for dinner at 7. then realised i forgot to bring my wallet and phone coz it was in my white handbag and i didn't put it in the other bag. silly me.

i wasn't eating so i just had a bowl of sweet potato soup, and then it was off to church for prayer meet. came back around 10ish and went to bed around 11. i think my brain was very active last nite coz i remember dreaming throughout the nite, but can't remember all the details. woke up this morning feeling very sleepy still.

now it's after lunch, and i'm still sleepy. *yawn* thank god i managed to get thru 2 classes this morning. haha. anyway, it's a mundane post :D but just felt like blogging

2 more days to the weekend! can't wait...

dreaming dreams?

when janelle prayed for me on sun one of the things she said was "let her dream dreams again" and i was thinking to myself - what dreams? have i really dreamt of doing something for the Lord? or have i allowed myself to dream of even anything - or am i afraid that if i dream, i will only end up being disappointed? something about that got me mulling over it a bit...

then on tues nite mike p came and when he prayed during the altar call - again i heard him saying the same things - let them dream dreams once again - i didn't go up to be prayed for but i was seeking Him where i was, and i asked God "have i ever had a dream?" it took a while for me to realize that perhaps i've not really dared to dream becoz i've been let down and hurt in the past and therefore now i just think if it happens it happens. i've lost some of the joy and passion and love for life that might have been in me before i "grew up", and have been content to just live a mediocre (or "normal") life, with thoughts at the back of my mind that i won't be one of those people who will be able to impact others...

i used to dream of meeting the right person and having a wonderful relationship, and doing well in life (including financially - to be able to enjoy some of the luxuries of life) but i've kinda shelved that after previous relationships didn't work out and i'm seemingly still struggling with making ends meet, and envying others who seem to have got everything in their lives worked out. i know perhaps i can't see the full picture right now but at least that's how it looks to me sometimes...but that night God told me "i'll never short-change you, because i love you" and i knew it was Him because it struck something deep in me- in response, i gave Him all those disappointments and asked Him to help me to start dreaming again, and believing Him that it really will happen in His time. and that in time to come, i will dream even bigger dreams for Him, for His glory...

belated new year post

today is already the 5th and i've been "reminded" that i've not yet posted - and since i DO have to keep my new resolution to blog more, u are now rewarded with this post :D

i did think of posting bout new year's eve, but irene beat me to it and i was just lazy. keke. my housemates (irene + ad) together with tina + josh had a low-key gathering at my place, with pizza and sparkling juice, ending with strawberries dipped in melted choc. the best part wasn't the food even tho it was great, it was just being among people u're comfortable with, and sharing our thoughts and experiences over the last year. Cat came to join us after countdown and we spent time to pray for one another - it was really a great way to start the year with the Lord.

those of u who are close to me prolly know what was obviously the low point of the year for me, but i'm glad to say that i'm well on my way to 'recovery' if there's such a thing. i'll prolly steer clear of relationships for a while, until the time is right again. in the meanwhile, i think moving into deeper intimacy with the Lover of my soul wud be my priority.

the year 2005 on the whole has been a good year for me, apart from that one low point. my college has been doing well and we're hoping this will translate into good bonuses and increment this year. studies has been very rewarding - by His grace i've even managed to get almost a perfect score in my CGPA. church, ministry and relationships have also been great. so i have a lot to be thankful for.

last year also marked the first missions trip that i'd ever taken and i'm praying this will be the start of more to come. that one experience in bangkok has been richly rewarding and impactful. this year, i have no idea yet whether i wud have the time or resources to make another trip but if the opportunity comes along i wud definitely consider it. i'm already toying with the possibility of going to KK with the prayer school group for 2 conferences in the 29/5 - 3/6 period, and perhaps this wud be my so-called holiday for the year la.

this year will be a year of stretching and maturing for me - in different areas, as far as what i can see. especially now that i'm studying and working, naturally this year i wud foresee myself to be busy when everything is in full swing. in terms of spiritual growth - with KLTI and prayer school this wud be a time of equipping and training as well.

altho i wudn't say that i'm feeling very excited bout the year, i'm not dreading it either - i guess i'm looking into the months ahead with some anticipation and preparation for things to come, let's see how this year turns out ;)