so we are finally officially engaged!! :)

tina has already blogged bout the engagement 'do' we had last sat, this is her blog address: http://tinalekooi2.blogspot.com, can go check it out!

i had a great time, cudn't hv asked for more - we had family and close frens to share in our joy, the weather and food was great too! my family flew here all the way from kuching, and frens from CLGC drove down to sban all the way from various places in PJ (some after a tiring day of attending a parenting seminar). thanks u guys :)

most ppl commented that they had never been to any engagement celebrations before (actually, neither have sherman and i) but i think overall, it turned out very well, and i'm glad to hear from various ones that they had enjoyed themselves. we managed to keep it quite short, and my 'speech' was only 2 lines. haha. wasn't prepared to speak in public actually...

poor diana got into an accident just after leaving the house, and we were quite concerned but i'm glad that it wasn't that major, and that everyone got home safely in the end. *phew*

anyway, can i bother all of u who took pics to upload it and then share it with me? :) i'm also waiting for our official photographer, Janelle to produce the pics. hehe...

the time has come

oh, i'm finally blogging! and that's thanks to my work (which i'm not doing)...haha...

i figured i might as well blog, since i haven't accomplished much all day (and it's 3pm!!) i've had a pretty full weekend, what with travelling to sban/JB/spore and back again, all within a short time. this weekend and next wil be away in sban again. nowadays when people see me in church (a.k.a. CLGC) they'll comment "wah, haven't seen u for a long time, miss u lah!" that's just one of the indications of how things have changed, and wil continue to change, i suppose. i used to be a regular feature in church, and spent quite a lot of time there due to various commitments.

now the season has come, where my commitments and loyalties are shifting, and i'm in the process of adjusting and adapting to those changes as they come. i do realise too that i need to take pro-active steps to prepare myself for those changes, lest it hits me without warning. haha. not being someone who looks or plans very far ahead, and who has a strong sense of commitment to what i have already plunged myself into, taking measures to step out of those commitments often times involve a lot of mulling over and monologues with myself before i finally make the decisions.

being at this place (figuratively) that i am now, i find myself having to take a deeper look at myself, to the core of who i am. working through issues in a relationship is starting to make me examine and look more critically at myself and to question my behaviour patterns and thoughts based on what my convictions or preferences are, and to seek more understanding of myself. often times, i have been quite content to let things remain in their status quo, and as long as nothing is seriously disturbing me, i am happy to let life be how it is. like they say, if it's not spoilt, don't touch it. haha...being with someone who has very clear ideas of his convictions and stands, does make it necessary for me to begin to examine myself a lot more. i can't say that i'm entirely comfortable with it, seeing that this is rather unfamiliar grounds, but i'm learning to challenge myself to venture into places which i've left unexplored and to bring to the fore memories which i've long ago buried at the back of my consciousness.

sherman and i went for our counselling session with his longtime counselor on sat, and i've been given "homework" to try to recollect my childhood memories which are not at all vivid, and seem quite blank to me. i know of people who remember many things about their childhood and past, but for me, it seems like there's a void there that has somehow not been filled. even i'm not sure myself, whether i had a happy childhood or not. there are some memories, but not really clearly etched in my mind. and some of what i remember is what i've heard others (like my elder sister) tell me. seeing that childhood years are not exactly short, say at least up to the time i was in primary school, there shud be a lot of things that i remember. but that is not the case.

my late mum has passed away more than 14 years ago, and i don't think i can say i remember what she really looks like, or how she was like, save for the photos i stil have of her. i don't really KNOW her, if u know what i mean. i visited her grave when i was last back for the CNY, and found myself crying softly there. i guess it means i still miss her, altho i hardly think of her in my waking moments. it wud have been very good to have her with me still, but i'm grateful that she is spending eternity with God.

while i was back home, i also searched for old photos of myself and found a little stack. what treasures they are :) i always complain that it's unfair my elder sister has so many photos, because she was the first child. but some is better than none. i'll have to find time to scan and preserve those photos, so that i won't lose them. looking at those photos, i can't say i remember any of those events where the photos were taken. maybe i've always been a blur kid. hehehe...

so, now i'm going to embark on a journey of rediscovering my life story, exciting and scary at the same time...