Bangkok trip - My Experience

I had been looking forward to this trip for months because we had started planning for it since March. Janelle actually told us that this is one of the most well-prepared groups going for missions. Hehe...

I didn't really have any expectations about the trip, but just told God that I'd like to be open to see what He wants to reveal and do through us and in us while we were there. Leading up to the trip, everyone was busy with so many things with all our last-minute stuff, but all the same, I wanted to prepare myself so that He would be able to work through us. I'm thankful i was physically ok throughout the trip and nothing really hindered me from going. God really gives us grace!

The first day, we didn't have much to do but we had a full day on Sunday with church and the kid's fun fair. We did a short mime in the church, I was playing the part of the girl (main character) and we did it again for the kids later in the evening. I really felt like i was getting old, and very un-fit, coz i was so tired just doing the games with the kids. And it's not like i really had to do much heavy labor or anything, but taking care of kids and keeping them occupied is no joke. Heheh. I guess any parent can tell u that.

Monday we went to the primary school and i gave my all in the teaching - being the serious teacher that i am :P Towards the end of the day, i was tired too, but still went out with the rest to town and we didn't get back til quite late. So actually, we had been having quite a full schedule since we got there even tho it wasn't 'work' all the time.

The next 2 days, we were scheduled to teach at Don Muang College and i realized i really was feeling very tired on tuesday morning and i just couldn't muster the energy to do the mime when Wesley suggested we do it, so he took over and even though i was glad he could do it, i also felt like i had let the group down. Later on, Wes asked those who were tired to go back and rest after we were done for the day, to get back our strength and focus, because we still had another day of teaching. I must have been more stretched that i realized coz when i got back, i promptly fell asleep for 3 hours! I missed out on going to Silom with the rest, but i was glad to have the rest too. I didn't really want to feel tired, but i did, and i had to tell myself that it's ok even though i was like "how come most other people aren't tired?" I guess in a way, God taught me that i'm weak and need to rely on Him and not think that i can do all things by myself.

Even when teaching the classes in the college, i felt like i wasn't functioning in the best capacity and i made some mistakes too - and was no different from the rest. Perhaps because i expected myself to perform better since i'm a teacher, i felt the pressure to be better, but again, God had to show me that it is not about me, but it's all about Him. I had to tell myself not to listen to the voices inside me that were putting myself down, and focus on Him instead.

After Wednesday, the trip was already half-way over and i just wanted to be able to make the most of the of the time we had, and on Friday especially, when we were saying goodbye to the pastors and people in Ps Dong's church, i felt like i didn't want to leave. We had connected with one another - the Malaysians and the Thais, and i knew that i wanted to come back again when i had the chance.

There were points in the trip when i felt like i could have done better, and had to ask God to teach me and give me strength and grace to do my best. I guess it's humbling to know that i am NOT able to do everything in my own strength, even in things which i thought i was able to handle.

One thing i was glad tho - was that i was able to pray for others - and not just empty words, but to really pray from my heart for the people and the nation of Thailand. I was grateful for the times that i had spent in IPN, FNS and praying with others because it really helped me to sharpen my ears and also gave me boldness to pray with more authority and in the spirit. Sometimes i had wondered if i was called to prayer (especially in context of church and ministry) because i have struggles with my own prayer time too, but during the trip i felt like it has all been worth it. If there is nothing more that i can do, i can at least pray for the people and for the nation on their behalf.

On the last day, before we left for the airport, our whole group prayed together for Ps Jon and his family, and i was really moved to see that they have been blessed just by our being there and praying a simple prayer for them and the knowledge that they are not in this journey alone. That in itself made the whole trip worthwhile, to know that i can be an encouragement to God's laborers in the field even when i feel inadequate, because everything that we did was for His name and in His strength and His leading. And trust that the seeds that were planted will bear fruit one day in His time.

Bangkok trip - The PEOPLE

I got back from Bangkok late Sat nite after about 8 days there. I would say overall, it was a very satisfying experience being on a missions trip for the first time, and all of us felt a bit sad to leave even tho some were looking forward to coming back home too.

I think I'll break the postings so I can be more organized when writing it, so this is the first part - about the PEOPLE of Thailand. I guess it's more about the people than the places anyway :) They are the ones who make a difference.

I was truly blessed by the people of Thailand, especially Pastor Jonathan & Ann (He is our main contact in Bangkok), Pastor Dong & his wife, Utt and his brother, Pastor Dan (the other pastors that work very closely with Ps Jon).

These men and women of God really inspire me personally, and it's just humbling to see them faithfully serving God and doing the work that God has called them to do, even though things may not be happening the way that they would have wanted it to and all the challenges that they face. And they are still so passionate and on fire for God, serving the people so willingly without complaint and always with a servant's heart. They told us that we were an encouragement to them by just being there but i think they are even more of an encouragement to me.

I'm very honored to be able to hear from the pastors and to be partners with them in God's work in this nation. Ps Dong has such a big heart and even tho he doesn't speak much English, i can feel his love for God and for his people. People like him are hard to come by in Thailand. I had a conversation with Ps Jon during one of our lunches together and he said that somehow it is hard for Thais to commit themselves to Christ, and even when they do, they find it hard to be committed to the church, even leaders themselves, so someone like Ps Dong is really a treasure to His kingdom here.

Ps Jon also has not had a smooth path - his sister died suddenly recently and his baby had a hole in her heart (Praise God it has healed and the hole closed now!) but he is still not giving up and is serving faithfully by teaching English to the community and living among them. He is really a man who serves from his heart, without expecting any returns, and always with a smile. From the short time that i got to spend with these pastors and their families, their lives have truly impacted mine. To think that he would be willing to give up his own country and choose to live in a foreign land where he would have to start everything from scratch, learning the language and all really makes me feel challenged. I don't know if i would be able to do that.

The other group of people who touched me were the children. We held a fun fair for the kids in Ps Jon's neighborhood and also we taught English at a primary school. I've not seen kids who are so polite and respectful of one another, and they thank you sincerely even when you're just giving them a lolly, and it's really so so refreshing. It just makes you feel so satisfied that you were able to do something for them, and bring some joy to their lives. When I shared this with my housemate Irene, she commented "That's because they have not learned to expect. Malaysian kids expect stuff". And that's quite true - i guess when you're used to having everything, you're not so grateful anymore.

Generally, people are really more open and we were surprised when we went tracting that people would actually come to us and ask us for the handouts! And when you approach them in the shops or houses, they are not suspicious of you and nor do they chase you away - i think i felt safer being there than back here in Msia. Perhaps it's a different environment, but it was a pleasant surprise to find people so nice :)

Now, when I think of Thailand, I can put faces to the names and the country, and I'm glad to know them, and not just know about them. I'm grateful to Him for the chance to be a part of what He is doing in Thailand.

Unsettling

Tonite we're having LF as usual. I've been feeling a bit unsettled at the prospect of leading the group, not that I've not done it before, but because of certain individuals in the group who make me a little nervous.

Usually my LF leaders will be around to lead, but they are busy with their newborn baby at the moment so they can't make it to LF and the other LF leader who we're combining with also won't be around tonite.

Normally I'm pretty ok with it since all of us in the group know each other quite well and we always enjoy each other's company, but I've had a rather bad experience with one person and am a bit wary of everything I do when that person is around. The past few weeks this person din turn up, so I didn't have to worry. There's also another person who is quite new to the group and I'm not sure if he is comfortable with us - you could say we're on different wavelengths and it just feels a bit awkward sometimes. I just hope everything goes well tonite.

Sigh...if just having to lead the group for one night gives me the jitters, I can't imagine having to pastor a whole group of people who come in all different shapes and sizes, with their own unique set of peculiarities. I definitely need God's grace!

Indian Fair @ Mid Valley

I went to the Indian fair with Paulina, Julia n Meera yesterday - Paulina had gone there on Sat and she wanted to go back there again so we gals followed her there. The traffic was really bad, as you can expect on a Sunday afternoon - especially with it being the last day of school holidays and also for the fair. It took us an hour to actually get into the parking lot and finding our space! We met a guy after circling for about 20 mins and he was actually looking for his car, so he hopped into the car - the bargain was, if we drive him to the car, he'd give us his parking space. Hehehe. He turned out to be a really friendly guy - he told us he also went to the fair and got stuff for his daughter and wife.

Neways, we went straight to the fair and there were like lots and lots of people there. The place was really crowded. They had sarees, punjabi suits, kurtas, lots of accessories e.g. bangles and choker sets, furniture, even food. I got myself a pink 'kurta' top with Indian bangles to match. They are absolutely lovely! And bought one for Mum too, for her belated birthday present. I also got a free fake tattoo on my arm - I was just standing in front of the stall looking at the goods and the lady suddenly put it on me but it turned out quite nice. Then I went to the henna painting booth and got myself a henna tattoo done also on my palm.

I even had Indian food in Bangsar with Paulina and I told her that it really was a day with all things Indian! And all I needed was an Indian man :P Kekekekeke....

One more week, one more week (chanting)

Counting down to the Bangkok trip *grinning*

This trip will definitely be an eye-opener, being my first ever missions trip to anywhere :D I'm just looking forward to the experience - I told God that I'm just going to be open to see what He has in store for us, and for the people of Bangkok.

We're planning to go to a few schools to teach them English, and we'll be doing a fun fair for the community, going to the streets to evangelise and also going to the prison to minister - the plans may change when we get there, but tentatively this is what we're preparing for.

The missions team met again last night to finalize the plans, and tonite, the church will be praying for us in FNS. Sunday morning we'll be commissioned (such a "big" word) to go out and make disciples of all men by the elders of the church.Next week will be the final stage, packing and going thru everything one last time before we head off.

Some prayer requests from me:
Please do pray that finances will not be a problem for me, I'm a bit worried about that but not overly. I do have enough I think - just means I can't shop very much lar...hehe...

Do keep the whole team in prayer if you can. Especially pray for unity in the team, fruitful time of ministry, that all plans will go smoothly and good health for everyone. We want to be able to bless the people there as much as we can, and pray against any plans of the Enemy to hinder our work there. Thank you!

No more phone calls!!

P/S: This was supposed to be posted yesterday but I didn't have time (about 10 people showed up for class yesterday - we had 2 ladies who are already grandmothers, and a 15-yr-old girl, and all those in between - interesting group :) and I think more will turn up as maybe next week or after that)

I'm getting soooooooo tired of answering phone calls!!! (I shud say I was so tired - thank god the calls are less now) U must be wondering why - actually it's because of the Free English Class I'm teaching at Crossroads (the community center belonging to my church). I've been teaching it since the end of '03 and we ran classes for almost the whole of last year. We took a long break this year and today is going to be the start of the new term.

Anyway, we wrote in to The Star about our class and they published a small advert for us on Wednesday in the English column and I've been getting like a gazillion calls about it - and basically having to explain the same thing over and over again. Not that it's not a good thing - but it can really wear you out!

There was another tel no they could call but my friend's phone 'kaput-ed' so they cudn't get him, which explains why everyone is calling me! I didn't know the advert came out until I started getting calls and I've missed quite a lot of them too coz I had to be in class and I was busy with work.

I actually had to explain to some of them that teaching the Free English Class is NOT my full-time job, and I actually have other work to do. Heheh!

I'm glad the advert came out tho, coz we were getting worried that no one will show up for the class but I guess now I have to worry about fitting everyone in! Of course, I don't expect everyone who comes to stay, but we're hoping to have a core group of students who will be committed to come every week.

Most of them don't understand why we're doing this for free, and I tell them it's just part of our community work. They are naturally wondering why we're not charging any fees and if we have something up our sleeves :P But they are pleasantly surprised to find out that it really is FOC!

What I'm looking forward to is building relationships with those who do stay on with us, and to have a chance to share Christ with them. That is actually why we're doing this, and we've had 4 salvation cases since we started this class, with many more having heard the gospel of Christ. It is much more than I can ask for - the satisfaction of knowing that our labor is not in vain and seeing those people who have become our friends come to know Jesus is immense.

Here's a toast to the new class and praying that we will see more come into His kingdom!

International Day

We just had our International Day for my department today - it's an event where we showcase the different things from various countries. The event was a success and I was surprised at some of my students who really went all out to dress up and contribute to the event. Some of them are not really participative in class but they were so enthusiastic when it came to this event.

The teachers all dressed up too - and I wore my pink kebaya, some others wore sarees, punjabi suits, even a yukata (summer kimono). Too bad I can't upload pictures coz I'm blogging from work and I can't download stuff onto my pc without permission from the ISD. Grrrr.

We had games - I conducted a tongue twister game with tongue twisters from different countries and we got the students who spoke the language to demonstrate and others to try it out. Some of the students prepared dishes from their own countries, to let others sample it.

There were so many more things that we did but I just don't have the energy to write everything - I'm aching all over and I feel really tired even though I didn't have to do like any hard labor...hehehe....I really must be getting very old :P

I wish tomorrow is not a working day - and that I don't have to work on Sat - but I do....sigh...I need to recuperate from all the excitement! Haha...

Grouchy grouchy grouchy

I woke up on the wrong side of my bed this morning :P (which is not like me). Normally, i'm cheery when i wake up, and i sometimes tell my housemates that i don't understand why they're so grumpy when they wake up in the morning. BUT this morning it happened to me, maybe i shudn't have gone to bed so early last nite. haha. i was too tired that i went to sleep before 9pm.

Anyway, it's just funny, and now i'm ok again. Back to being my normal cheery self. Whew!

Here's to Boy...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOY!! (My brother, Eric, turns 16 today)

Just wanted to wish him, even tho he doesn't know my blog exists...hehehe...
Thinking of him reminds me of the fact that I sometimes feel sad that I'm not around at home to help guide him and just be a big sister to him, showering him with some TLC and letting him know that someone does love him.

He's quite the loner type, just like my Dad and even if he was at home the whole day, it's possible not to even notice him - he's very UN-attention grabbing, he can be holed up in his room and playing computer games the whole time.

I have a tender spot for him coz I feel he's missed out a lot on Mum's love since she passed away when he was not even 3. He did not understand it, and no one expected him to coz he's just a baby. But he surprised our family not long after that, when he was playing with his building blocks and he told us that he was building something for Mummy and that she's in heaven (something like that) - anyway, I have a feeling he somehow could comprehend what had happened and he did not pine for her after that.

He grew up with us 3 big sisters and Dad, until Dad got remarried when he was about 9. I was glad for him coz he'd have a mum to look after him and just do things that mummies do, and to some extent this is true of my stepMum (we call her Mum too). But it is never the same nevertheless, and sometimes I wish Mum was still around to be here for him.

He's not a really rebellious kid, but he does have his share of "problems" too, which at times makes me really exasperated with him but at the same time I feel for him. I dunno, I feel like he's mostly left to himself and maybe he's getting the impression that no one really cares about him.

I have a little brother at home, Ezra, who's 5 - and my Mum has her hands full taking care of him, working, and looking after the needs of the family in general. Dad also is working, and his approach to parenting is very laid-back and he believes in letting us kids do our own things and learning from our mistakes, so he doesn't control us very much. This has it's pros and cons - sometimes I wish Dad would take more initiative to talk to us and tell us what we should do etc. Anyway, I just feel Eric's neglected sometimes, and I'm not helping very much although I try to.

I pray that he will somehow know that Father God loves him, and that some others do too, even though he may not feel it. I want him to grow in his relationship with Him, because I know He is more than able to meet all his needs, even those that he keeps only to himself.

I pray that you will find love and security from knowing who you are in Christ, Boy. He is more than able to meet ALL your needs. He loves you and I love you.